Some thoughts....Because not all thoughts are good ones. When you think too much and your an emotional person, it might be in your favor to ignore some of them. It can be a hard thing to do at times.
I'll be straight to the point here. My cat of a whopping 19 years old most likely has some malignant lumps on her belly. I am sad but I'm really trying not to be, because quite frankly, I've been blessed to have her this long. She's a little sister of mine- I've had her since i was 5 years old!! We was kickn' dirt in the litter box since we was both kittens XD!
She's OK now but when that day comes, i want to celebrate her happy spoiled loooooooooooooooooong life and not mourn her death ! I know I'll be sad, but I don't want to be depressed and unable to do anything for like 3 months. I should be great full! I read today that by age 7 your cat is considered Geriatric! My baby's 19 mutha fucka!.... She's spoiled me too.
So many people say " I dont want any more pets after feeling like this!!!". Well, thats no good. If you love animals, why should the fear of them dieing deny you the joy again? Share that love with another animal because so many animals REALLY need it.
I got a bit off topic but i had to say that. It's a challenge to try to not be sad or overly sad. I feel that as an artist , you might allow yourself to wallow in sadness a bit too much.
I noticed i did this today. I thought of the situation that I'm in with my kitty as "letting the tide wash her away" ( can i even type this with out getting sad?) . Anyway, in my head i picture a sunset and the waves all pink and purple, to me it was BEAUTIFUL! But it doesn't fail at making me incredibly sad! This was the conflict and i was lucky to have vocalized these thought.
, who is always able to rationalize my emotions, mentioned that " Even the most beautiful people, can still be down right rotten."I dont know if its just me, but i really dig myself into grave when i think of these morbid thoughts and let them linger because they are "beautiful". I can try to express that into a painting but it's important to realize this beauty could drive you knee deep in depression. I could have kept thinking of it because it was "beautiful" and not realize how sad it was making me. I'm going to make sure I don't let these thoughts lead to more "beautiful " thoughts. With
's analogy , that would be like letting a gorgeous guy or girl lead you to living the fast life.Anyway, just to wrap somethings up: Fear not of death! Don't let the things that gave you the most happiness drive you into the deepest sadness. Instead, understand and appreciate life ! Oh and don't get me wrong - if your sad holding back your feelings is just as bad but, the lady who is typing this is more affected by being over emotional!
I'd prefer to be a bit stronger and it helped to Analise my thought process.For those curious about my kitty, Geraldine was doing well before i took her to the vet. This all came about because i was giving her medication to verify her condition and it was making her very unhappy. I think it would have made her a very depressed , unhappy , fearful kitty. She's 90 years old in kitty years , does she need that? No, she doesn't need that to take away from her happy life span! I'm going to love her as much as I always did.... And in case you were wondering- The love meter was at the MAX!
Anyway I hope that made you more happy and understanding then depressed!
I'm out!
:3
(*-entry also found on meh blog.)
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- games i'm playing....
(the good news is , I'm drawing more, playing less... and kinda happier for it. )
currently playing :
(no pc games )
TEAM FORTRESS 2.
valkerie profile 2
wii sports
Zeal
Devious Comments
There are "ordinary" animals; they simply fit into the stereotype of that species. Then there are "special" animals, the kind that has the ability to surprise, to entertain, such as opening doors or doing headstands.
I don't know if my cat will live as long as yours, but I know it's special, and I know I will miss him after he will be gone; what I don't know is if I will be able to find a new one, because I am certain there is only one Sizu.
As to something a bit happier now, I think art is a way of expression, which is something too many people forget. Art has been inspired by emotional states for centuries, and artists have used art as a way of expressing themselves and how they feel.
On the line, writing or talking to someone is also a good way of getting read of the stones that weigh on your heart; not always is there an answer needed, maybe you just need for someone to listen.
And when there's nobody around, reach for a piece of paper and a pencil, and let the thought flow from your mind onto the paper, until the words are weighing on the page instad of on your heart.
And yes, I think holding a party after your cat is gone is a good idea.
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A man who has nothing can still have faith.
Although I have never felt more alive than when exposed to extreme pain. It makes all the times when you're not in pain, so much sweeter.
Did I just sidetrack?
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Taking offense for words exchanged is a luxury.
I kinda wrote this in hopes that there was someone out there like me , who needed it . ya know?
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---- I'm a trash can for vegetables. ----
I think you make a good point- I don't have any fear that I'll turn to an emotionless machine.
I'm a really emotional person. At one point I felt so helpless because i couldn't help everyone who really needed it. I noticed my emotions were holding me back from helping others. Because every time something happened i was totally destroyed- i dont think everyone is overly emotional like me. So maybe when i write this - People might not understand . You make a good and valid point!
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---- I'm a trash can for vegetables. ----
I hope i didn't seem too absolute with what i said about how some people don't want another pet after losing one. I understand what your saying about losing a bet and being afraid that if you get another - you might forget your original baby! I've been through a lot of cats in my life. I've had like 7 cats in my life ( so far) each of them I loved A LOT! Each with their own beautiful personality.
Chaplin the first- I was too young to enjoy him
Chaplin the second, quite, brooding, noble
Geraldine the first - unfortunately she died too early for me to say anything but super sweet.
Geraldine the second- Spoiled , prissy , hyper !
Figaro- Hunter ! fighter ! Lover , short , fat yet a ladies man.... not so smart!
Cookie- Timid, sweet, kitten like , dear to those who are closest to her.
Phantom- Strong, intelligent , handsome , world traveler , non territorial.
( the most cats i had at once was 4- that was crazy that my mom allowed that!)
Most cat's on that list were saved from the street. I'd love to save more and hold them dear to me! But the thing that most got me was when one of them died. So it may be my own personal feeling to strive for not letting it hit me so hard - so that i can save another one - ya know? But man i know how hard it is ...
About the expression - I never could really understand how to fully express such deep dark sadness onto my art- Because my deepest sadness was debilitating. But what a beautiful way to say it! " let the thought flow from your mind onto the paper, until the words are weighing on the page instead of on your heart." I never thought it like this... I'll try to imagine this for the next time.
<3 I dont know how to do the hug emote back! but *hug*
also I truly hope your Sizu gets a loooooooooong life-
My suggestion is ( you probably know this)- Avoid Sizu going outside- ( this is why my other kitties didnt last as long)
Make sure Sizu drinks fresh water everyday! Kidney health is important!
Lots of love and attention! When ever Geraldine would look sad - I'd be sure to spend like 30 minutes cuddling her hehe - XD
Anyway Your Sizu is a cutie pie! I should post some photos of my kitties too
*hugs!*
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---- I'm a trash can for vegetables. ----
More over to what you were saying. Emotions mess me up and everyone else for that matter
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Taking offense for words exchanged is a luxury.
He had his 3rd birthday this year
When it rains, we leave a towel on the floor next to the door he usually comes in from, and when he enters, he waits on the towel for someone to come and dry him up ^^
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A man who has nothing can still have faith.
sounds like you have a handful! I know it can be tough to keep him inside. It's still dangerous- but if you say your neighborhood is calm then maybe its not as dangerous as my neighborhood. Over where i live there are lots of streets, rowdy cars and sick stray cats. So you can see why it wouldn't be a good idea for cats to hang out where i live.
Give Sizu lots of cuddles for me <3!
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---- I'm a trash can for vegetables. ----
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